Lexophile - a lover of words!
A "lexophile" is a lover of words, enjoying and creating puns and sayings, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." Competitions among lexophiles prevail, and this year's winning statement is posted at the end of this list.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN. IT'S CHEAP MEDICINE.