Why was the computer so tired when it got home?
Because it had a hard drive!

* * *

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.

* * *

Signs that you need to get away from the computer

• You try to enter your password on the microwave.
• You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, "What's for dinner, Dad?"
• Your daughter sets up a website to sell Girl Scout Cookies.
• You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.