"Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself." —Mae West

"Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." —Mickey Rooney

"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to." —Rita Rudner

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." —Groucho Marx

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" —Anonymous

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" —Lily Tomlin