Q. What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?

A. Nothing just lets out a little wine!

Q. What are the two words that will open lots of doors in your life?

A. Push and Pull

Q. What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

A. Nobody knows!

Q. What did one snow man say to the other snow man?

A. Smells like carrots!

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and orders a drink.

One beer please and one for the road!