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This article will be a little more personal than most. I have not written much these last several weeks due to the unexpected death of my exceptional brother-in-law, Scott. He was a much loved husband and father, a dentist, a bare-foot skier, wine connoisseur, and only 53 years old. You, who have walked in my shoes, know the feelings of my heart.

As I was thinking about "preparedness" I realized that most of us are prepared for everything but our own eventual demise. Having just experienced the dozens of questions that surrounded Scott's death, I thought that this post should contain some simple ways to prepare ourselves, and other loved ones, for what will hopefully be decades away from occurring.

These come in no particular order. Many are items that I took note of these past few weeks, others come from different web-sites. Make up a file, label it, and put every document, list, requirement, key, password - EVERYTHING into the file. Be sure that your spouse, executor, or other family member knows where this file is and can get to it immediately.

1. Discuss with family your wishes regarding "do not resuscitate". What excessive measures, if any, do you want a team of doctors to make? If you choose to have a DNR (do not resuscitate), have one in your file at home, with your doctor, and at your hospital.
2. Have a will. If you have simple assets and transfers, go to www.BuildaWill.com, or www.DoYourOwnWill.com, or www.LegalDocs.com. You may download a will and have copies made for under $20. Yes, they are legal and binding. If you have millions stashed away, hire an attorney.
3. Where do you want to be buried? Or do you want to be cremated?
4. Who should be contacted following your death? Have a list in a file you have made up with their names, phone numbers and e-mails. Trust me; your husband/wife will be in no condition to do this for you.
5. Do you have a preference for pall bearers? What are their names and how can someone get in touch with them?
6. Do you want a funeral in a church or a simple memorial? Where do you want this to take place?
7. Do you have special songs or music you would like sung or played?
8. Who would you like to deliver a eulogy?
9. If possible, pay for your funeral in advance as well as your burial plot or mausoleum crypt.
10. If you have small children, who would you want to become their legal guardians? Be sure to have these arrangements out-lined in a legally binding document.
11. Have copies of all of your passwords and which one goes to what account or e-mail.
12. If you have business passwords, make sure that someone has copies of these as well.
13. Have copies of all insurance papers, wills, deeds, bank statements, loans, savings deposits, titles, etc, along with their account and/or serial numbers.
14. Have copies of keys to safe deposit box(s) in the file.
15. Write a loving letter for your loved ones to read following your death. This is something they will treasure.
16. If there is something you own that you want to give to particular friends or family members, put this in your will so there will be no questions. Or, if you have time, give it to them personally.
17. Would you like a charity or organization to receive donations, "In lieu of flowers?" Which one?
18. Is there anything you don't want at your funeral? Better tell someone.
19. Do you have an accountant that can be notified to help your spouse with financial questions and arrangements? If not, who do you trust that your spouse may turn to for help if needed? Scott had an accountant and a best-friend and colleague who are helping my sister.

Check-List for Surviving Family Members
From www.KeepAndShare.com

1. Call the funeral home you have selected. If you have not chosen a funeral home ahead of time, ask a friend, family member or clergy for a reference.

2. If your loved one was a veteran, you may be able to get assistance with the funeral, burial plot, or other benefits. For information on benefits call the Veterans Administration at 800-827-1000. Also, the phone number for your local Veterans Agency is usually listed under Town Offices. You will need a copy of your loved one's discharge papers.

3. Obtain 10-15 copies of the Death Certificatefrom your funeral director.

4. If your loved one was receiving Social Security benefits, notify your local Social Security office of the death, since these benefits will stop. Overpayments will result in a difficult process of repayment. If you are a surviving spouse, ask about your eligibility for increased benefits. Also, check on benefits that any minor children may be entitled to receive.

5. Contact the health insurance company or employerregarding terminating coverage for the deceased while continuing coverage for others covered through the policy.

6. Contact the insurance companyfor all life insurance policies. You will need to provide the policy number and a certified copy of the death certificate and fill out a claim form. If the deceased is listed as the beneficiary on any other policy, arrange to have the name removed.

7. If the deceased was working, contact the employer for informationon pension plans, credit unions and union death benefits. You will need a certified copy of the death certificate for each claim.

8. Return credit cards of the deceasedwith a certified copy of the death certificate, or notify the credit card company if you, as the survivor, want to retain use of the card.

9. Seek the advice of an accountant or tax advisor about filing the deceased's tax return for the year of the death. Keep monthly bank statements on all individual and joint accounts that show the account balance on the day of death, since you will need this information for the estate tax return.

10. Arrange to change any joint bank accounts into your name.If the deceased's estate is in trust, check with the Trust Department or Customer Service at the bank.

11. If the deceased owned a car, transfer the automobile title into your name at the Secretary of State's Office, or if the estate is probated, through Probate Court. If the car was leased, have someone return it and get the requisite paperwork.

12. Arrange to change stocks and bonds into your name. Your bank or stockbroker will have the forms.

13. Make sure that important bills, such as mortgage payments, continue to be paid.

14. Documents you may need to complete the tasks

•  Death Certificates (10 - 15 certified copies)
•  Social Security Card
•  Marriage Certificate
•  Birth Certificate
•  Birth Certificate for each child, if applicable
•  Insurance Policies
•  Deed and Titles to Property
•  Stock Certificates
•  Bank Books
•  Honorable Discharge Papers for a Veteran and/or V.A. Claim Number
•  Recent Income Tax Forms and W-2 Forms
•  Automobile Title and Registration Papers