Elephant Stew

1 elephant
2 rabbits, optional

Three months before serving, cut elephant into bite-sized pieces. (This should take about 2 months.) Place in a mammoth kettle. Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over a kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees or until elephant is tender. One batch will serve 3800 guests, so it's great for large parties. If more guests are expected, add the rabbits. BUT, only do this if absolutely necessary as most people do not like to find "hare" in their stew.