Yesterday, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all, cutting at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch if you’re interested. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service...

It also works at DMV and the Laundromat - but don't try it at Wendy's, the whole crew will exit and you'll never get your order.