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Volume II
December 21, 2007


The Rules of Eating Christmas Chocolate


  • If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

  • Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

  • The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.

  • The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.

  • Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

  • If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

  • Money talks. Chocolate sings.

  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

  • Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?

  • A: Because no one wants to quit.

  • Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

  • If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?



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